Hi everyone and welcome to another edition of the Working Mum Series. In these tough and uncertain times we are facing right now, I hope this brings some light relief and positive reading.
This is Hannah who works as a recruitment manager, and I love her interview for lots of reasons. Firstly because I feel that it represents the majority of the working mums out there. Not all mums own businesses or have a business instagram account. But they get up and put their kid(s) into a form of childcare and then use public transport to head off to work every day. It is important that we remember that this is the majority of the population.
Secondly, I love that Hannah’s company – Taylor Wessing are so pro flexible working (huge round of applause to them!). I actually think that after this tough time is over for Britain, many more companies will see flexible working in a different light, and finally (yes finally!) start to realise that everyone can, and should do it.
Thirdly, I just absolutely love Hannah’s attitude to motherhood. She talks a lot about losing the ‘mum guilt’ (we all have it), being kind, and not putting too much pressure on ourselves to be that perfect parent – which quite simply doesn’t exist. It is so important, especially in these tough times, that we don’t compare ourselves to each other, and just do what is best for us and our families.
I hope you enjoy the read and all stay healthy and safe
Lisa
xoxo
1. Please introduce yourself – what is your job, how many children you have, where you are from etc.
I’m Hannah, 36 and I live in Kent. I am the recruitment manager for Taylor Wessing, a city law firm and manage the recruitment of all their lawyers into their UK offices in London, Cambridge and Liverpool. I am married to Ellis and we have a little boy, Jude who has just turned 3.
2. How many days/hours a week do you work?
I work full-time, 4 days in the London office and 1 day from home. I work 9.30-5.30, but tend to get into the office for 8.30 and leave on time so I am home just in time for bedtime.
3. Describe a typical working day in your household (i.e. morning routines with nursery/school drop offs to evening bedtime)
I have no need for an alarm anymore as Jude dictates the time we all wake up – can be anything from 5.30 – 6am (unfortunately he doesn’t yet know the difference on the weekend either, ha). I need to be up by 6.15 to get us all up and out of the house by 7.15, for Jude to get to his childminder, followed by my usual rush up the road to the station to catch the 7.36 train! My morning routine is certainly the typical mad dash to get out of the house with everything we need to remember.
Thursday and Friday are slightly different as Jude attends pre-school so my husband does the later drop off on Thursday and I work from home on Friday so I can do the drop off. I love Friday mornings, for a much more leisurely start and breakfast together at home. In the evening either my husband or I will pick Jude up at 5.30 and then get him home for the bath and bedtime routine which is 6.30pm. I leave work at 4.30 on Tuesday and Thursday to allow me to do this which is great as my time with him during the week is so precious. My husband and I then get some time together to eat, chat, relax on the sofa and then into bed by 10pm to get some rest to face the next day…
4. How do you balance working life with motherhood? And what/who do you rely on to make it work?
I rely on the help of a lot of invaluable people – it certainly does take a village to raise children! Grandparents, my sister, my childminder, pre-school, my work and finally my husband! There are so many moving parts to make sure the week runs smoothly and I never take that for granted. I am very lucky that my work has an amazing agile working policy and is so understanding of the flexible hours I need. My husband is also able to be flexible in his job to help with the pick-ups. Both our parents and my sister live very near, so I always have someone to call on if I am unable to get home for whatever reason. Having a cleaner to help me during the week with keeping the house tidy means that the weekend is free of cleaning and washing and 100% dedicated to Jude and whatever he wants to do. Family time is so precious that when Friday evening arrives I come out of work-mode and I am mummy for the whole weekend. It means that I certainly don’t get a lot of time to myself (or much of a social life), but that is a compromise I am very willing to have.
5. What is the best thing about being a working mum?
It allows me to continue to develop my own career, be me (and not mummy) for a period of time, and continue to be challenged. I genuinely really enjoy my job and am passionate about what I do, so it’s important for me to be able to juggle my job alongside my family and find a routine that works for both aspects of my life. I am very proud of what I have achieved and I hope that when my children are old enough to understand they are also proud of what I do and realise that just because I work it will never compromise our relationship and me ever being there for them. I also hope that they grow up with a strong work ethic and realise that they can achieve whatever they want to in life. I’ve worked and earned my own money ever since my first paper round during school and I will encourage my children to do the same.
6. And the hardest?
The juggle and mum guilt! Trying to fit everything into the day/week is a constant battle and there is always something new that you have to face or try and work around. I don’t plan our meals for the week, I’m not the greatest at replying to messages, and I’m certainly not the best with remembering birthdays or other events that some of my friends are just so amazing at, but I try… I just have to sometimes take a breath and remind myself I am doing the best I can (as we all are) and as long as the juggle doesn’t affect the time with my son I’m winning! Also, the mum guilt is real! When I miss moments and am the ‘absent mum’ it can be tough. When I can’t pick Jude up every day and he says to me in the morning ‘mummy can you pick me up tonight’ it pulls on my heart strings. However, I know it makes us really appreciate the time we do have together and he is such an independent little boy.
7. How do you unwind? Motherhood (as well as work!) can be relentless – what do you do to relax?
My husband and I love food so it would definitely be cooking and eating out. I find cooking and baking so relaxing and I am always looking for new restaurants for us to try! Also, just spending time with family and friends when I can is always a great way to unwind. It usually means inviting them to ours for brunches or dinner as we can’t get out much in the evenings, but as long as we find time to catch up and be together that’s all that matters.
8. How do you manage your relationship with your husband/partner as well as working and juggling the daily life of raising children?
My husband and I share the same strong family values which means his priority at the weekend is Jude and I and spending time together as a family. We also have a lovely couple of childfree hours together most evenings once Jude has gone to bed so it’s the perfect time for us to unwind, catch up and just be ‘us’ again. Uninterrupted cuddles, Netflix binges and good food is a perfect evening for me. As I mentioned, we are very lucky to have family so close so we do manage to have the odd date night too. We support each other with the day to day juggle and if one of us has something urgent that crops up, the other will step in to help.
9. Do you feel that motherhood has changed you, and if so, how?
Yes, I feel that I no longer worry about the small things and my priorities are completely different now. Everything I do is for my family – to make sure they are happy, healthy and safe, and they are always the first consideration for every decision I make. I also feel a lot more content and while I remain ambitious it is for different reasons and material things become a lot more meaningless when you realise that time is the most precious thing you have.
10. Can you tell us one lesson that you have learned from your child/children and one that you have taught them?
Jude has taught me to live in the moment and have fun. When I spend time with him, I just enjoy every second and seeing the world through his innocent eyes really makes you appreciate the little things that are the big things in their world! Jude is only 3 so he is learning and growing every day, but if I can continue to teach him to be kind and well-mannered I will feel I have done a good job.
11. What do you feel are the biggest challenges facing working mothers at the moment?
I think it’s the pressure to do everything and keep all the plates spinning. Managing your job, your home, your family, relationship and general life admin is relentless. My brain never switches off and that can be hard when I find a small window to relax, but in reality I am still checking off the various tick-lists in my head. I also think working mums never lose the guilt of not being at home as much as they would like – that’s tough.
12. What does ‘flexible working’ mean to you’?
It means being able to work wherever and whenever I need to. I am very lucky that Taylor Wessing is so forward thinking and has a well-established agile working policy in place with the technology to support it. This means I can work at home when needed and do not need to be sat behind my desk in the office to get my work done. With my mobile and laptop, even when I leave the office early for the pick-ups I am still very much online and available. I work at home at least one day a week so I am able to drop Jude at pre-school and having that morning to be ‘mum’ at the school gates is invaluable to me.
13. What are your go to stores/websites/blogs for your work and everyday wardrobe, and what are your staple pieces as a working mum?
I work in a law firm, so I tend to wear dresses or a midi-skirt and jumper with my black stilettos every day. I enjoy feeling glamorous during the week as I certainly rock a very casual mum wardrobe at the weekend. I shop online a lot now, as I don’t want to spend my weekend walking round the shops. For work I tend to stick to M&S, Zara and H&M as I feel they follow all the trends and I can always find some great pieces. At the weekend I live in anything comfy which is usually yoga leggings and a hoody or jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt or shirt, but very rarely do I wear anything other than one of my various pairs of trainers on my feet.
14. Finally, what advice would you give to new working mums? I.e. those who are just going back to work from maternity leave, setting up their own businesses, or going for a new job?
Just to be kind to yourself and try to put all the ‘mum guilt’ thoughts and worries to the back of your mind – babies are so adaptable and both you and your child will get into the rhythm of your new routine and it will become your ‘normal’. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself day to day and never compare your work/childcare situation to others as every routine is so different, each with their own challenges. Never let anyone tell you that whatever you choose to do is the wrong decision – you know what is best for you, your family and your mind! Your children will not love you any less for going back to work. In-fact I find it makes the time you do have together even more precious and when Jude is old enough to understand I hope that he will be proud his mummy. That’s really all that matters.
