Hi Everyone,
Wow – how is it mid April already? On the positive side though, spring/summer is finally here and we can all start enjoying the sunshine and getting some much needed vitamin D.
This month’s working mum’s series interview is with Carley Bassett, founder of Sisi and Seb – the absolutely divine online baby and childrenswear boutique. If you haven’t visited her online store of treasures yet then you absolutely must. Carley set up Sisi and Seb last year through her lack of being able to find individual and neutral clothes for her daughter. The boutique offers a carefully curated edit of the most gorgeous brands from Organic Zoo, Sleepy Doe, Olli Ella and Louise Misha (which is a personal favourite!).
I’m sure there will be lots of points throughout the interview that will resonate with many of you, but for me, it was Carley’s point about social media being filtered and people portraying their ‘perfect lives’ via Instagram that really resonated with me. I know this is an issue that affects so many people, and I actually find that the easiest way to deal with it is to think of Instagram as a sort of online magazine, some perhaps more edited than others. Once I started doing this, it completely changed my mindset.
Enjoy the read, and as always, if you have any comments or questions, or would like to be featured in the Working Mum Series, do get in touch.
Lisa
xoxo
Lisa at Cityrunmum talks to Sisi and Seb:
Website https://www.sisiandseb.com/
Instagram @sisiandseb
- Please introduce yourself – what is your job, how many children you have, where you are from etc
My name is Carley and I have two jobs; an admin job which keeps me going as a way to a means and I run my own business on the side which is an online kids wear store which is the “dream”. I have one daughter, Sienna (Sisi) and we live in Winchester, Hampshire.
- How many days/hours a week do you work?
My “desk” job 25 hours a week and my hours working on my own business are unlimited, I am always doing something towards Sisi & Seb; whether that’s sending out various emails, posting on social media, ordering product or sending out orders, but it doesn’t feel like work to me because I really enjoy it.
- Describe a typical working day in your household (i.e. morning routines with nursery/school drop offs to evening)
We have to be up pretty early as Sisi goes to breakfast club for 8am so I can be in work for 8:15; this also means I cut out a lot of the school traffic which is great. We are out of the door at 7:45 and thankfully we are pretty close to everything. I also opted for school lunches because the thought of having to prep even a daily packed lunch is just too overwhelming and an extra job to sort. Life is such a juggle at the moment so every little helps even an extra half an hour!
I am really lucky that I work in my admin job Monday to Thursday and I have managed to negotiate a 3pm finish. I then go and collect her from school and at the moment we only have an after-school activity on a Wednesday evening, I am really trying to hold off anything else at the moment because I know this will start to get pretty crazy in the years to come.
Aside from the days where we have activities, we go home and I tend to try and get some work done which means that she watches a little bit of TV so I can really get my head down, or does some colouring. It sounds awful but I tend to steer her towards doing something that doesn’t involve my attention for the hour or so whilst I am trying to get the essentials done, otherwise it’s “Mummy, Mummy, Mummy” and I haven’t achieved anything work wise. It’s then a light tea at 5/5:30pm and in bed for 6:30pm to practise reading and I will also try and read another book to her. She is asleep by 6:45/7pm at which point my partner and I sit down to eat something quick and easy. I will usually work for a couple of hours then, some evenings I will go to the gym and some I will actually manage to sit down to watch something! We are also moving house soon so evenings and weekends are quite often taken up with planning for that too. I always make sure though that at the weekends we really spend quality time together, that I have times where I am not doing any work and we are doing something to get us out and about.
- How do you balance working life with motherhood? And what/who do you rely on to make it work?
I do struggle, I am really torn between a work/life balance and it is really full on at the moment. There are a lot of occasions where I have to just accept that Sienna has to sit and play/colour/watch TV while I am doing work in the background which I have a constant guilt about! I am hoping that once my business is slightly busier I can drop my other job and that time post school will be dedicated to her! I do make sure that I have time when I am doing absolutely nothing and I am solely focused on her but sometimes the day throws a curve ball at you and it can’t be like that!
- What is the best thing about being a working mum?
I love the satisfaction of knowing that I can do something independently. Prior to starting Sisi & Seb I was solely working in my admin job and I wasn’t getting the satisfaction mentally from it so its bee amazing to learn new skills and do something I love with my business. I think it’s also a great example to set for Sienna as she has such a drive and whilst I don’t like my focus to not be on her it’s also made her more independent which I think is an added bonus.
- And the hardest?
The constant guilt (but I think whether you work or don’t work; you’ll always get that!) and also Social Media! Seeing ‘filtered’ photos of perfect lives that you think people have is really tough. People filter out too much of the reality in my opinion and it makes it really hard for working mums who I think set unrealistic goals for themselves.
- How do you unwind? Balancing motherhood with work can be relentless so what do you do to relax when you’re not at work/with the kid(s)?
It is rare that I have time to myself, but I make sure that I spend an evening or two a week having some down time with my boyfriend, watching a movie and it generally involves relaxing with a rather large glass of wine or two! I have also upped my gym routine recently which really helps me to focus, realign and release any tension.
- What is your proudest mum moment?
It has been a really turbulent few years for my daughter and I so I will be forever proud of the resilient, confident and happy go lucky little girl that she has turned into! The other day she told me I was her best friend (I nearly cried) and it’s the moments where she spontaneously tells me she loves me even if that’s in the middle of the night when she is half asleep, that I really feel proud. I think they always save up their tricky moments for mums, I am more often or not the bad cop and she has recently been telling me how much more she loves her daddy than me etc etc. It’s these random moments when I feel like a that I am doing something right. I think motherhood is so hard; I find myself questioning myself on the decisions I make, there is no right way and it’s all a learning curve even as a parent.
- Do you feel that motherhood has changed you, and if so, how?
Yes for sure, in every way! She has made me put things into perspective; the things that mattered before don’t matter now. In my previous career work was life, and looking back it really wasn’t, the moment is, and always should be the ‘now’. Physically I have grown about 6 extra imaginary arms which means I can juggle a lot more! My heart is so full now and it’s so magical seeing life through their eyes and going through that learning process with them! Sisi has just started reading and writing which is the most incredible journey to be on with her
- What do you feel are the biggest challenges facing working mums at the moment?
The juggle! I recently wrote a blog post about all the things that you have to juggle as a mum and how hard it is. I only have one child but it’s like a constant hamster wheel you can’t get off! I really thought it would get easier when she started school, and yes she can now do more herself and is more independent than she was, but the school day is so short; after school pick up comes around so fast and then it’s a case of running around to after school activities, completing homework and reading. Trying to squeeze in work around a school day and run a business is really tricky.
- What is your proudest work achievement?
Setting up my own business. I wanted to do it for two years before I actually set up and I had no knowledge of setting up/running a website, but with a little help I got there and I am a one woman band. I get caught up in all the micro things sometimes and worry about what I haven’t done due to time restrictions but looking as a whole I am super proud of what I have managed to achieve so far, and I have so much planned.
- What does ‘flexible working’ mean to you’?
Being able to work around my daughter and not have to miss too much of her growing up. It’s really important to me that I get this balance due to not having a support network around me. My only option otherwise would be for her to be with someone else a majority of the time if I worked longer hours and I don’t want this for her. It also means doing something you love to do. In my previous buying career I worked for a big corporate and the only flexibility they had was to work 7:30-4:30pm, 5 days a week, with a 6 month old baby(!). I look back and wonder how on earth an employer can think that is acceptable. While I realise that employees need to be committed to their job there also needs to be some flexibility around what is expected of working parents. I think it is such a shame that mums are on occasions forced out of their careers or don’t go back to work because companies are not accepting enough of family life and what goes with it. I realise that some mums do manage work full time, but it is not always possible and something has to give. I genuinely believe that as a mum you can multitask, prioritise and get things done quicker! It saddens me that so many people I know cannot go back to their careers and that employers are not flexible. I would have loved to have gone back to my career but instead had to take an administrator job which was not challenging but fitted in with family life. Thankfully I managed to set up my business which can be flexible.
- What are your go to stores/websites/blogs for your working wardrobe, and what are your staple pieces as a working mum?
I have two very different working hats and my outfits are poles apart! As an administrator I wear a blazer, smart top and trouser and my go-to is always Zara. As I work from home on my own business I generally wear jeans and a slogan t-shirt with a casual jacket and I am totally obsessed with my new Air & Grace trainers which I live in where possible. I am so lucky to have a really amazing boutique on my doorstep called Sass & Edge which has just recently opened so I am looking forward to getting some summer staples from there soon. They carry such amazing brands! I always manage to find great accessories and extra wardrobe staples at Zara; I really try but I just can’t stay away from the place. My wardrobe rule is to buy less and buy well!
- Finally, what advice would you give to new working mums? I.e. those who are just going back to work from maternity leave, setting up their own businesses, or going for a new job?
It’s a really scary prospect and the fear of the unknown along with being away from your baby is a terrifying thought. It has its pros and cons and it can be really refreshing to have that time away from ‘baby land’, its something I personally needed (and still do) but do it when you are ready and don’t take on too much because it is hard, they get sick and seem to automatically not sleep when you’re in a routine and running all on empty is not fun! Don’t be too hard on yourself!
