Happy New Year everyone, and welcome to the first Working Mum Series of 2019! I’m kicking it off with a great interview from Lauren Murdoch-Smith who is the British Vogue – Beauty & Lifestyle Editor. If you’re a big fan of Vogue, or beauty, then you will already know who Lauren is. Her beauty tips are second to none and I for one am an avid follower of the team and their adventures. Oh, and in case you didn’t notice – she has serious hair goals.
I love Lauren’s interview for many reasons. It is great to get a perspective of someone who works in an office. Someone who ‘gets’ the toughness of a commute, who works for a big corporate and has to balance all that it throws at you with daily life. Lauren shares her behind the scenes routine and it is clear that the key to being a working mum is all about balance and support. Instagram and various other social media outlets make it look all too easy sometimes, but remember there is always a reality behind a picture.
I hope you enjoy the interview, and please do get in touch with any questions/comments as always.
Lisa
xoxo
Lisa talks to Lauren Murdoch-Smith
1.Please introduce yourself – what is your job, how many children you have, where you are from etc
I’m the Beauty & Lifestyle Editor at British Vogue. I live in Bushey, Hertfordshire with my husband Ben and we I have two children; Sebastian who is five and Sybil aka The Lady, who is two.
2.How many days/hours a week do you work?
I work five days a week but my job means that I sometimes work evenings attending press launches or Vogue events and also travelling for fashion week and brands
3.Describe a typical working day in your household (i.e. morning routines with nursery/school drop offs to evening)
I wish I could be one of those working mums who wake an hour before their children to get myself ready but I’m just not. I set my alarm for 6.45am but if Sybil or Sebastian don’t come in and tell me to wake up, I normally snooze until 7am.
Sebastian is at the age where he is hungry from the moment he wakes until the moment he closes his eyes at night so he expects breakfast straight away. Sybil demands “Milk. HOT” and her breakfast at the same time which I oblige her as she’s at a stage of wanting to do everything her big brother is doing.
I normally jump in the shower whilst they are eating but leave the bathroom door open. Our house is petite (translate that as tiny) so I can shout down and hear what they are up to. Sebastian is a very good older brother and will tell me if something has happened – “Sybil has hit me, Sybil has drawn on the wall” but they normally come straight upstairs after finishing and hang out with me whilst I get ready.They either make a den in their bunkbed or sit on my bed and ask to watch something.
Whilst I put on my make-up, Sybil loves to mimic me. She’s currently fascinated by eye lash curlers and Sebastian is interested in what I’m wearing and what I’m doing.
I get both of them ready. Sebastian started school this September so he slowly puts on his uniform with a bit of encouragement and then Sybil wants to change to keep up with Seb. She also now needs to be ready to go as she goes on the school run, much to her delight.
My nanny arrives at 8.30am and we have a speedy, five minute hand-over and then I leave for the train station and they shout out “Bye Mummy, I love you” for all the street to hear. It’s very sweet and makes leaving them a lot easier. They sometimes leave for school at the same time, it’s only a five minute walk from our house which is very convenient.
4.How do you balance working life with motherhood? And what/who do you rely on to make it work?
I couldn’t work in this job without all the support I have. Firstly, I’m so lucky to have a nanny. When I was going back to work the first time from maternity leave, we explored different childcare options but it soon became clear that, first off, I didn’t want Sebastian to go to nursery full-time at one years old. The idea of a 7am-7pm day for him wasn’t for me. I also didn’t want to have the added stress of having to get him out of the door, wake him up if necessary or the rush home at the end of the day so we decided a nanny would be the best option. If I was going to be responsible for them in the morning, this was the only way it was going to work. And we haven’t looked back. Ewa treats Seb and Sybil as if they were her own. She’s super flexible and reliable and she’s part of our family now.
Ben is an incredible support to me. He always encourages me to take up opportunities and supports my career which makes being away a bit easier as I know I don’t have to feel guilty about leaving him parenting solo. Ben’s parents only live three minutes away in the car and are always around if we need help. They will pick Sebastian up from school and look after them both if Ewa is away or needs to leave early. They really are superstars. We’re also lucky enough to have Ben’s brother and his wife on the same road as Ben’s parents and they have two boys who are four and five and go to the same school as Sebastian. The cousins are so close, they are more like brothers and sister and where possible, they spend as much time as possible together.
5.What is the best thing about being a working mum?
I like to have my own life, independent of the children and I like that they are used to me being away and working hard so when we’re together, we all appreciate each other more. Of course there are times when Sebastian, in particular, says he misses me and asks if I can pick him up from school but it has made them both independent and flexible and I hope that puts them in a good position growing up.
6.And the hardest?
Missing all the things that I can’t get to. Drop-off, pick-up, volunteering at school and nursery events. Being the absent mother and never knowing what is going on at school or nursery. But above all, just not always being there for them. I get huge pangs of guilt and it’s getting worse as they get older. I’m the World’s most OK mum!
7.How do you unwind? Balancing motherhood with work can be relentless so what do you do to relax when you’re not at work/with the kid(s)?
If I can, I like to work out. Either popping to my local leisure centre for a spin class and post class coffee or see my friend Lee Mullins who owns Workshop Gymnasium -he’s the best PT I know.
Ben and I love wine and I would say I have become more of a fan since having children! I guess it’s because you don’t go out as you used to so you have to bring the “going out” to your sofa. We also love a good binging box set session and luckily enjoy the same things so when we find something we love, we plan our evenings around it. We’re foodies, too, so we like to plan our weekends around food and what we’ll cook. I wish I had more time for my friends but when I do see them, it’s a lovely treat.
8.What is your proudest mum moment?
I’m yet to have one but if it’s to do with the children, I have too many. They are simply the best and I am proud of them every single day.
9.Do you feel that motherhood has changed you, and if so, how?
Yes. I don’t think I care so much about what people think about me. Before I would agonise over minor details but now I just remind myself that I have two children at home and the only thing that really matters to me is them and Ben. Also, I grew and gave birth to two babies so if someone makes me feel stupid or intimidated, I just remind myself of that pretty awesome fact.
I think I also don’t worry as much about small things. I’m lucky that I have them in my life and if my career ended tomorrow, I would still have them and life would still be great.
10.What do you feel are the biggest challenges facing working mums at the moment?
I think flexible/remote working should be widely recognised regardless of whether you’re a mother or not. With the technology we have today, everyone should be able to work wherever if they need to. I work one day a week from home if I can and just being able to drop Seb at school makes a huge difference to my mindset. I’m very much of the thinking that mum life is just life, so I don’t want special treatment, I just think people need to give each other a break. When I leave on time, it doesn’t mean I’m not working, I’m still online, available and willing. I do think it’s changing and Vogue is very forward thinking.
11.What is your proudest work achievement?
I think landing a job at Vogue. It was always my dream to work at the big V and when I got the job, I actually couldn’t believe it. A true “pinch myself” moment.
12.What does ‘flexible working’ mean to you’?
I think being in control of your working day. Not being tied to a desk but of course being available when you need to be. I believe that if you’re delivering on your deadlines and projects, flexible working should be an option.
13.What are your go to stores/websites/blogs for your working wardrobe, and what are your staple pieces as a working mum?
I’m a real jeans and t-shirt, jumpers or shorts kind of girl. It was my style before becoming a mum and it’s luckily one that lends itself well to a mum wardrobe. I like to team denim with nice accessories and I’m obsessed with coats and blazers so I’m really looking forward to winter.
I love Zara for its denim and Topshop for dipping into a seasonal trend but without having to spend too much money. I buy H&M men’s t-shirts and I like And Other Stories and Arket for tom-boy, simple staples. Me & Em is also great if I want a nice knit or pair of trousers. I love cashmere and love the brand Needle and also the simplicity and price of the Uniqlo cashmere crews. I’m also addicted to ASOS. Nothing beats that unlimited next-day delivery!
I always look out for things I’ve had in my basket when the Net-a-Porter sale hits and I’m a big fan of The Outnet. I buy all my Equipment shirts on there.
14.Finally, what advice would you give to new working mums? I.e. those who are just going back to work from maternity leave, setting up their own businesses, or going for a new job?
I think you just have to try not to put pressure on yourself, if you feel you want to go back to work. Don’t go with the mindset “I have to make this work”, just go with the attitude that you will try and see how it goes. Having a child is a complete life change. Your childcare set-up will never be the same or as other mums so no one really knows how it is. Comparing yourself can be toxic and make you feel negatively about yourself. If it doesn’t work out or you miss being with your baby, who cares? Think about what’s best for you.
I applied for the Vogue job when I was about to return to work from mat leave with Sebastian. I actually think I was more focused than I had ever been. Being a mother has made me more determined. Setting up your own business? I take my hat off to you. Mumpreneurs are another league!
